I can't call it a break in. To me that implies something broke. And when something breaks, you can either fix it, or it's easily replaced. Nothing about someone smashing my car window and ripping out my stereo (yes Heidi, the one from 4-5 years ago that our parents got us for Xmas for our "new" cars) was easy. That was 2 nights ago and I STILL don't have the glass vacuumed up yet. New window? Great. An auto glass company came out to my school to replace it for me, but we couldn't find an accessible outlet on the outside of the bldg. for him to plug in his portable vacuum to clean my car. And since it was pouring rain yesterday, extension cords were out of the question. That's right. I come out to go to school and think 'What is all over my passenger seat?... SHIT'. That's pretty much the thought process I had Wednesday morning. Then I called the police, the apt. complex, and school to get a sub for the morning while I spent the AM attempting to get someone to replace my window in the rain so I could drive without the hazard lights and go more than 20 MPH trying to hold a tarp in the car while keeping the rain out.
Aside: Anyone notice that I'm pissed? And depressed. Seriously. I do not understand. I don't get it and while I know there are stupid bastards out there that go and do these things (especially at the holidays according to my SRO), I DO NOT GET IT. I don't want to, honestly. What mostly bothers me is why I feel so sad about it. I'm Okay. Coda's Okay. No one is hurt. They didn't steal the valuable items, even though they defaced my car. My apartment in intact and nothing lost there. I do not like this feeling though.
Friends have told me they got upset because of a sense of loss and violation. I don't know if that's it with me. It doesn't help that my students have had performances out their wazoos this week. Field-trip Tuesday with 3 performance stops. Pep Rally performance today (that I ended up in as one of my kiddos is out sick), and 2 more gigs tomorrow, including our Winter Concert. And our fundraiser products showed up yesterday. And I had to find someone for my car. And I can't stop crying about it! Dammit!
I do count the blessings. I do look at the bright things. I do appreciate the things that ARE Okay... and better than Okay.
I do not like idiots who feel the need to gain from causing others loss.
3 comments:
You are freaking out emotionally because you have been holding yourself together through a lot of stress with all these different committments and then someone added just one more thing that was definitely not in your control at all, and they knocked you out of your equilibrium/semi-sane state of craziness that you were handling just fine. So then it all comes crashing down and since you start crying about one of those things, then you finally feel okay to cry about all the other stressors. You're normal. It's okay.
Side note: I agree with you. People that do things like this are on a completely different playing field. You and I will probably never "get it."
Just remember you only have one more week of school, then a vacation!
YAY for vacation and family! I can not WAIT to see you on Friday. And the other sisters... and the brother-in-laws (I didnt' forget you this time). And you're right, Heids. Thanks for the pep talk. =) See you soon! Love ya!
I'm sending you a big fat hug from Chicago. I would be so torn up too. You've got so much going on and I'm sure you're feeling that's the last thing you needed. I'd be like "Take the radio! Just don't smash my window!" The window thing is the FINAL BLOW! Hang in there Kate, vacation is almost here!
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